55 children showed up. I felt so bad for the mom. She wasn't prepared for that many children. She was upset. I calmed her down and let her know we were still going to have a great party. I shifted from the show I had planned to a more stage-style presentation, and we made simple balloons for all of the children at the end. It was a little disappointing that we couldn't make fancier balloons (I normally make elaborate sculptures for all of the children), but the kids were all happy to receive a little gift. In the end, the kids had a good time, but I couldn't pay as much attention to the birthday boy as I would've liked.
So you're wondering: Where did all of those kids come from?
Siblings. Siblings are the hidden pitfall of many birthday parties for children between the ages of 3 - 10. Everyone brought an extra child or two, and I found out later one couple had been watching their nieces and nephews that weekend, so they brought ten children alone.
Its so tough; parents think to themselves, "What's the big deal? I'm only bringing one more child. It'll be fine." And I understand. That caramel latte served up with 40 minutes of child-free silence is beckoning. But you start to multiply that one sibling times ten, and its a hard situation for the host parents to handle.
The problem is, how do you say no, especially when there are 2 siblings close in age? I admit, its tricky situation if you're hosting the party. Let me share some tips.
Tips for Handling the Sibling Factor
- Invitation Specific - When creating invitations, be very specific about "Siblings Welcome" or "No Siblings, Please." I know this is hard, but I've performed at over 400 birthday parties, and the less successful ones have one thing in common: many more kids are present than were originally invited. Its OK to have a special day for your little man or little lady without 10 or more additional children. You don't have to be a babysitting service.
- Entertainment - Is your entertainment flexible? Many entertainers, including myself, charge more for more children. We do this because its extra time, extra supplies, and though we really won't tell you this, a lot more energy. It is hard to give your best performance when you are also a referee/disciplinarian. If you are bringing in an entertainer, you'll want to make sure he or she can handle the extra children that may attend. Most shows can be adjusted for the extra children, but the earlier notice the better. You need to be aware that you may have to pay for more time, or end up with a lesser quality show. If you're doing the entertaining yourself, are your activities easily able to accommodate a larger group? Do you have some backup activities to handle unexpected guests?
- Head them off at the pass - As the children arrive for the party, have you or your significant other greet them at the front door. Let parents know what time they should pick up the individual child by name. So for example "You can pick up Jack at 2:00 p.m." This subtly lets the parent know that the party is intended just for Jack.
- Polite, but firm - And if it does seem like Jack's 5 brothers are going to be joining him, just let the parents know that the birthday activities are designed for the birthday boy/girl's invited guests, but that you have coloring books for other children in another room, if they would like to stay with their children and watch them. This should get the message across without ruffling too many feathers.
So be strong! You can have the birthday party your child deserves, and its OK to to just be responsible for entertaining them and their friends. And if you have any questions, let me know!
Jim Manning
Birthday Party Expert, Celebration Coach, National Family Speaker
866-33-JUNGLE (toll free)
Email@JungleJimBoston.com
FREE Birthday Party Tools at www.JungleJimBoston.com
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